WTF - Chanel Makes Snowboards?
Those of you who’ve been stressing that your designer handbag clashes with your snowboard… worry no more! Chanel has entered the snowboard market. Shall I email them and see if they’d like to be in our board test? It seems like a few people out there have decided there’s a whole label whore market segment out there who are dying for a designer label snowboard. Look at Bitchboards, founded on the concept of bringing “fashion, design and style” to the snowboard industry.
kelly | 12.30.08 | Comments (10)
WTF - Contests & Prizes
I’m sure you’ve heard this bitch before. Girls don’t get big enough prizes, and some contests don’t have a girls division at all. However, my friends keep telling me stories about how bad this is, so I’ve decided that I will take advantage of my position of power as a super important editor of an awesome and highly influential magazine and bitch talk some specific incidents.
Wait, what’s that? I’m not super important? Dammit, when did that happen. Was my Mom just lying to me? That seems pretty unlikely.
kelly | 12.24.08 | Comments (3)
WTF - Magazine Photography
The other day, we got in our new issue of a certain magazine for snowboarders. My boyfriend opened it first and exclaimed, “WTF, why are there all these photos and no ads?” That sounded a bit suspicious so I went over and had a look. Turns out there were plenty of ads… what was missing were the articles and the words. This was verified by the cover, which told us that this was the “Year In Photos” issue.
kelly | 12.10.08 | Comments (4)
WTF - Weather Sucks
Well, everyone keeps getting their feelings hurt when I bitch about companies, so I think I’ll bitch about something generic, like the weather. Hopefully this time no one will have some kind of bizarrely powerful brand-loyalty to the weather, which causes them to associate their identity with the weather and therefore be personally insulted every time I find fault in the weather. Ahem.
kelly | 11.26.08 | Comments (3)
Jesse Csincsak the Bachelor?
So, summit county snowboarder JSak seems to have broken up with his true love, the Bachelorette chick… shocking, I know. I totally thought it’d last. No, really, the Bachelorette is such a romantic and realistic show. I’m sure all of the people on it are there for all the right reasons: because it’s hard to meet hot chicks and guys just wandering around in bars and stuff.
kelly | 11.25.08 | Comments (4)
WTF - Holden’s Website
Our art director, Julie, LOOOVES Holden, so I hope she doesn’t beat me up for this, but WTF. I’m so baffled by some of their stuff. Like they have that jacket that looks like you buttoned it up wrong. And now they’ve added some bizarre artsy videos to their website which confuse me even more. Like, 5 minutes of Laura Hadar standing in front of a wall looking bored or doing some kind of creepy Mr. Roboto dance.
kelly | 11.12.08 | Comments (18)
WTF… Does My Snowboard Make Me Look Fat?
I’ve noticed a rather alarming trend in snowboard sizes lately. Girls keep getting smaller and smaller snowboards, and some of them seem suspiciously like they’re doing it to prove that they’re tiny. WTF? Soon, they will be riding down the run on a kid sized 110cm snowboard so everyone thinks they can fit into a size 0. Fortunately, in our recent interview with MFR (one of the badass-est girl riders out there), I was happy to hear that she rides some normal length boards, even for jibbing. Maybe her wise example can save all of these girls from a certain death. Well, okay, not death, but certainly an inability to eurocarve, which is kind of like death.
kelly | 11.05.08 | Comments (30)
WTF is going on with Burton?
Yesterday, while inputting Burton’s description of the Troop into our board test results, I noticed that their description still included quite a lot about Elena Hight. This furthered my overall WTF about the Burton team lately.
kelly | 10.29.08 | Comments (12)
WTF… A Man in Spanky Pants
In continuing news from the men in tight pants department, Bataleon has squeezed some dude into a pair of yellow tights. Don’t get me wrong, I love Bataleon, I even ride a Bataleon, and I must say it’s quite excellent. However, they do have a flair for imagery that is borderline creepy. For instance, on my Violenza’s graphic, there’s a bird that appears to be violating a llama with his beak (although Danny at Bataleon told me that he was just tickling him). I waver between finding this amusing and disturbing.
kelly | 10.22.08 | Comments (13)
WTF… Helmets To Hunt In
This week, I couldn’t think of something to WTF about, so I asked our art director, Julie, and she pointed out that she is not very fond of those Bern helmets that look like you’ve just stuck your helmet on top of your baseball cap, so, I figured that those would be enjoyable to make fun of, and moseyed on over to the Bern Website.
kelly | 10.15.08 | Comments (6)
WTF Wednesday - Skinny Pants
This past Saturday I checked out a double feature of the latest Mack Dawg films, ‘Double Decade’ and ‘Down with People’ at The Meeting. Never having been much for watching sports, I tend to find snowboard films a bit boring. But it’s especially when they do a lot of talking, Down with People has some pretty amusing talking, but not until the credits, when they had footage of Jeremy Jones and Todd Richards mocking all the boys in tight pants. Cuz, just when you thought guys couldn’t wear any tighter pants while snowboarding without some embarrassing seam rips, the People crew managed to add in that extra level of spandex-ness. So, when I saw these pants from Vans, the first thing that popped into my mind was the some guy like Jon Kooley or Jordan Mendenhall trying to stuff his package into them.
kelly | 10.08.08 | Comments (16)
WTF Wednesday Pants with a skirt… again?!
Just in case I haven’t angered enough people with my commentary on Burton’s new naked boards, I’ve noticed that it seems to be time for WTF Wednesday. So, I think I’ll make fun of these Roxy snowboard pants.
kelly | 10.01.08 | Comments (19)
WTF Wednesday - Clear Snowboards
For years, I’ve been distressed by the fact that my snowboard wasn’t transparent. Since my snowboards have all been opaque, I’ve never been able to look at the snow I’m standing on to see if it’s different from the snow just over there. And when I’m sitting on the lift watching a gaper about to wipe out below me, sometimes my snowboard blocks my view of the action. Plus, there are all of the times I’ve posed for a Snow Photo, and they made me hold my snowboard, blocking everyone’s majestic view of something much more important… ME!
kelly | 09.24.08 | Comments (8)
80’s music videos WTF
The 80’s gave us many wonderful trends and had us often shaking our heads going why. With my ever appreciation for the love of all things 80’s metal (read hair bands) I figured I’d share these lost gems of WTF were they thinking.
First up Krokus’s Screaming in the night
This movie has ultimate cheese it looks like a horrible version of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome with a little bit of music sprinkled in and possibly some rejects from the Safety Dance video.
dee stroyer | 09.20.08 | Comments (1)
WTF… MC Hammer Pants are Back?
While I’m learning to accept that as I become older, some bad trends from my youth will be cycling back around, I kinda hoped that some of the REALLY bad stuff would slip away without getting picked up. Like, especially the stuff that is extremely unflattering and/or bizarre. For instance, things that make it look like you have an insanely long torso and tiny legs. Or, you know, flannel lumberjack shirts. Oh god, I hope people don’t start wearing 5 layers of different colored scrunchy socks again.
kelly | 09.17.08 | Comments (5)
WTF Thursday: Buyers Guides
Somehow my Wednesday slipped away from me, without ever writing my WTF column. Is it bad that I’m missing the date already, on just the third column? Pretty soon it’ll be WTF Two Weeks From Saturday.
Anyway, this week I’m annoyed with buyers guides. We’ve been getting in all the buyers guides from those bigger, fancier, printedier magazines, and each time I open one, I find myself disappointed.
kelly | 08.28.08 | Comments (0)
WTF Wednesday: Burton’s Lovely Boots
For the second installment of my bitchy column, I thought I might bring up that bigger companies also have some WTF moments. Case in point: the Burton Modern Boot, which is possibly the ugliest boot on the market this season (though I can’t be sure, I think we also have a contender in the Vans Omni).
kelly | 08.19.08 | Comments (19)
WTF Wednesday: Glowboards
Through the wonderful world of Myspace, we get all kinds of requests from companies trying to make a mark in the snowboard industry, so I thought I’d start sharing some of them with you. This week, we got a friend request from a new company called “Glowboardz.”
kelly | 08.13.08 | Comments (8)
And in the WTF Were they Thinking Category…
I thought I’d also share this gem:
Just in case you don’t want to change into a skirt for your evening out, Bonfire decided to add a detachable skirt to your snowpants! Don’t get me wrong, I love Bonfire… but is this a joke? They even mention that you could wear the skirt alone, so it’s like two for the price of one? Neither look very flattering.
kelly | 09.12.07 | Comments (1)
Outerwear in Disguise?
Maybe it’s just that I’m some backwoods Colorado mountain girl, but I don’t understand all this new outerwear that looks like they’re trying to disguise your gear as some kind of urban, high fashion outfit. It looks a bit too much like something the bad guys in a cheesy 90’s ski movie would wear. I was just looking at the Holden 07/08 outerwear catalog, and at first I thought I had lost the outerwear section. They have always had an urban/fashion-inspired look, but it seems like this season they took it about 3 steps too far - to the point where you’d look like one of those first-time skiers who clearly doesn’t have any appropriate clothing. Except, guess what? Your inappropriate looking clothing is secretly waterproof!
kelly | 08.22.07 | Comments (0)
