WTF… Does My Snowboard Make Me Look Fat?
I’ve noticed a rather alarming trend in snowboard sizes lately. Girls keep getting smaller and smaller snowboards, and some of them seem suspiciously like they’re doing it to prove that they’re tiny. WTF? Soon, they will be riding down the run on a kid sized 110cm snowboard so everyone thinks they can fit into a size 0. Fortunately, in our recent interview with MFR (one of the badass-est girl riders out there), I was happy to hear that she rides some normal length boards, even for jibbing. Maybe her wise example can save all of these girls from a certain death. Well, okay, not death, but certainly an inability to eurocarve, which is kind of like death.
So, I’m staging a bit of an intervention, here. Let me just pull a few of you girls aside, and have a talk with those of you who have told me things like “oh my, your board is huge! I couldn’t ride anything longer than a 145 because I’m TINY!” That statement makes me a little suspicious. I really hope you’re not riding that little midget stump of a board just to prove you’re skinny. Because, I hate to break it to you, but people can tell whether or not you’re skinny just by looking at you. No one is going to look at your super small snowboard and be fooled into thinking you’re just wearing too many pairs of long underwear, which have all clumped up in your belly region. Plus, it’s rather rude to announce to me that you’re way too tiny to ride anything within 10cm of my board. What does that make me, a total fat ass?
Well okay, I’ll admit it, I have thunder thighs, so I kind of am a fat ass, but you didn’t have to announce it. WTF? And I’m riding powder here, I can’t really have my thunder thighs bogging me down just because I refuse to get a normal sized snowboard. Besides, the board is just a 156, and the weight range on it is 120-175 lbs, so it’s pretty likely you could ride this board yourself. Maybe you’re just not hardcore enough to be able to handle it?
Okay, stop yelling at me. I understand getting a small-ish board for a jib board. Maybe something like a 146 or a 148? That seems plenty small to me. I have no idea what you’d need a 136 for. Maybe you have to share it with your 10 year old sister. But for freeride, what’s wrong with having a longer board? You kind of need something that’ll hold your weight if you want to tackle any steep terrain. You can’t buy a board for your dream weight, assuming you’ll be losing 10lbs before you hit the steeps either, that can only result in some kind of disastrous tumble down a steep chute. And don’t tell me you can’t butter it. As my friend the Angry Snowboarder says, you can butter pretty much anything, unless you really suck at buttering. I know plenty of girls (and guys) who are your size and ride 153’s and 155’s. Don’t worry, once you adjust to actually being able to carve, you’ll be fine!
... or maybe i’m just too old and just don’t get it.
Posted by Kelly Vance on 11/05 at 09:06 AM
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COMMENTS
POM POM
HAHA!!! if this is seriously a trend, then I second a WTF?!!!! further, everyone needs a little thunder in their thighs....the more thunder, the tuffer you ride, like SONiC BOOM style! and BTW, the waif look is sooooo OVER (not to mention totally lame). so girls, go get your pb&j;on and leave the size charts in the dressing room!
Nov Wed, 2008 at 12:15
Heidi
Hahaha. I love this! Good job, Kelly! The bigger the thighs the better the butters! haha
Nov Wed, 2008 at 01:11
phae
me, my 152cm and my fat ass agree with you! WTF, indeed. 
Nov Wed, 2008 at 01:25
Christina Tambaros
haha totally agree!!
i love your WTF wednesday!
and how soooo very truthful they are about the new “Styles”
which most people tend to go along with, except you guys who rip it to bits and show how ridiculous they are!
LOVE IT!
Nov Wed, 2008 at 04:27
dee stroyer
This also applies to guys. If I see another kid my size riding a 148 in pow I’m going to lose it.
Nov Wed, 2008 at 06:29
lcombs
Wow, I never made the correlation between having the desire to appear “tiny” and getting shorter boards....but I definitely noticed it becoming a more common trend for girls to get smaller boards...way smaller.
Nov Wed, 2008 at 11:40
erin
I must say I’m pretty small, I’m only 5’4” and probably around 120....but I love my 153! I can’t imagine riding powder on anything smaller, and yes my tiny ass can butter on it as well!!! I even ride it in the park...who need a small board that doesn’t carve!
Nov Thu, 2008 at 07:02
VIXEN
I did notice a few of the rocker boards to hit the market this year have a longer effective edge, and I’ve been told from reps and sales people you can drop down on some models up to 5cm. So maybe its just new technology making things smaller and lighter with out losing any of the advantages of a bigger board. But what do I know I ride a 184 swallow tail in the park!
Nov Thu, 2008 at 07:20
POM POM
yeah honestly I don’t think there’s anything wrong with anyone riding ANY particular size board---the objective is to have fun....my only concern is the idea that girls would ride a small board ONLY to show that they weigh a certain amount....like trying to squeeze into size 2 jeans....i for one pulled out a 10 year old dusty 139 pill board last year, heavy as hell, but i had so much fun on it. I’ve also ridden a 140, 148, 151, 152 and 162---but I must say, the 162 was a bit too big...but still it was fun for a run or two...ride what’s fun!
Nov Thu, 2008 at 07:29
gigi
hey there.
my snowboards are pretty small, but I am not the tallest out there. I am 1m57. I ride a 140 for the normal slopes and the 138 for freestyle.
I just can handle smaller boards better. never tried a taller board, maybe I should. and the weight, haha, I am thinking, I am a lil bit too fat for the boards, but however they arent broken yet. 
I think everybody should take the size which fits the best for him/her.
dont think about it, just have fun out there and enjoy your life. thats just my opinion.
Nov Thu, 2008 at 11:25
dee stroyer
Weight is the determining factor because its the down force on the board. My guess is you’re riding those boards because you have horrible riding habits and using it as a crutch.
Nov Thu, 2008 at 05:47
halley
Haha.. “because people can tell if you’re skinny just by looking at you.”
Nov Thu, 2008 at 10:37
gigi
maybe I am not the best in snowboarding but I have fun what I am doing. so I am happy.
and hmm. maybe that helps you guys out there, I looked wrong I am in the weightrange of my boards. so no worries .
Nov Fri, 2008 at 05:31
gigi
and in europe we dont think like that. just because they ride smaller boards, they want to prove, they look tiny… different cultures.
Nov Fri, 2008 at 05:44
DearTragedy
makes me wonder...i’m 5’6, weigh 116 and ride a 149, which is a size up from last season...i really like my board and never thought it was too short for me!...hopefully i’m not one of those girls that people are poking fun at!
Nov Fri, 2008 at 07:04
kelly
Nah, the girls I’m talking about are on like 136’s… for your weight, a 149 is fine!
Nov Fri, 2008 at 08:43
gigi
But how tall are these girls where you talking about? which ride 136’s?
Nov Fri, 2008 at 10:03
dee stroyer
What the hell does height have to do with it. Height only matters when taking your inseam into account for stance width.
Nov Fri, 2008 at 10:40
gigi
hey dee stroyer!
have a nice season!
Nov Fri, 2008 at 12:02
amy
hahah I love this article!
question though… what do short but stout girls ride? like what if someone is 5’0 or so and weigh, i dunno, 150 to round it off ride?
Nov Fri, 2008 at 12:23
skeena
WTF??? The girls riding those smaller boards are probably ALSO the ones I see in the bathroom fixing their makeup. Because we all know that mascara has to be just perfect when riding the slopes!
Seriously, I don’t even think I brush my hair when I go snowboarding; isn’t that what a toque (sorry, I’m Canadian) is for?
Nov Fri, 2008 at 12:33
POM POM
uh, are you guys slamming GNAR GNAR??!!!
http://www.shredbetties.com/articles/story/gnar_gnar_bunny/
Nov Fri, 2008 at 12:38
kelly
No, I’m sure she does all of her makeup before shredding. Look how hardcore she looks.
Nov Fri, 2008 at 12:54
kel
This worries me!!!!! Anything smaller than a 156 I feel like it is going to slip right out from underneath me! Maybe if they ate a hamburger or two they would have the leg strength to be able to handle something a little larger! I am embarrassed for these poor girls ...
Nov Thu, 2008 at 02:53
Andie
Hmm...as a smaller-sized person...a lot of these responses are kind of mean, actually. I’m 5’2, 105lbs. I ride a 141. I wanted a board i could use for freestyle and freeriding so that’s what I went with.
Besides....a lot of us smaller girls do eat hamburgers and have tons of leg strength....just genetics that we are small. What can ya do? I’m 25 years old...still the same size as I was in high school. That’s life...and I keep active, so this is my size. And yes, I actually eat Del Taco or something similar like every day so please don’t call me a salad eater or something like that.
Nov Fri, 2008 at 04:54
